What a phenomenal start to the week I had! During our morning greeting for students and faculty, Chris and I made the door opening a bit more entertaining. The door to Seabrook Middle School can be opened by the press of a button. I stood a few feet back, welcomed some students to the school rodeo and lassoed the door open (with Chris' help, of course). It was pretty hilarious. Our morning greetings are designed to get kids excited for school – I think the lasso routine helped.
I had two big victories on Monday that I'm quite proud of. The first occurred in math. On the previous Friday, the students were given a worksheet that required them to convert rates. For example, they had to convert 45 feet per hour into feet per minute. Some of the problems were more difficult and a paraprofessional was convinced that the students couldn't accomplish them. "Alyssa" believed her, but took out her worksheet in class anyway. I asked her why she didn't have all of the problems done. She replied that they were too hard. I told her, "You can do these," and we got to work. With some of the trickier ones (converting hours to seconds), I used a technique I learned in high school science. I don't know if Alyssa will remember that technique, but the victory was her realizing she is capable of any math problems with some hard work and encouragement.
Later in the day, I discovered that "Sally" is failing English class. She made Honorable Mention for the second trimester, so there's no excuse why she now has an F in that class. She showed me why: she has received two zeroes on the quizzes she has taken so far. They are reading The Giver in English and while they are already on chapter 19 -- near the end of the book -- Sally has not read a single page because it is "boring." I made a deal with her: if she read chapter 19, I'd read it too and we'd discuss it. While she still claims the book is boring -- something that pains my English Literature major heart to hear -- we did talk about the chapter briefly after class and I know that she will pass the next quiz. Hooray!
I was pretty tired when I woke up on Tuesday and the rain pouring outside did not help lift my spirits. But I told myself to get happy and I started feeling better. When I arrived at Timberland, I danced in the rain with members from all three WSWC teams. It was pretty rad. Since it was Tuesday, we missed first period to do PT in the Seacoast community. We headed down to the gazebo where we had our first teambuilding day way back in September. On that day, the sun was shining but this time, we were the ones bringing energy and light to that Hampton shopping center. We did some incredibly powerful PT; I love my team and their enthusiasm.
After PT, we went to a coffee shop and discussed "The Jungle," a workshop we would be leading in the afternoon with the fifth graders. "The Jungle" is designed to teach people about racism, classism and the disparity between communities' resources and treatment. Participants are divided into four groups. The Lions are the wealthiest and are given a great deal of leeway. The resources and support recedes as you go down the line from Lions to Cheetahs to Snakes until you arrive at the Beetles. This group is forced into a corner and treated like dirt. Students in my group, the Cheetahs, were flustered at the unfair treatment. Several complained loudly that the Lions were given "whatever they want." But two students in particular were furious at the situation, saying that they hate City Year and hated the Lions. I talked with both, individually, and told them that we never wanted to make them upset. We want them to see that there are some people who are treated better because they have more. If they (the students) have a lot of things and are comfortable with their life, they should remember how they felt during the workshop and try to make those who have less feel better. They are capable of changing the world, even if it's only by a little bit. A simple act of kindness to a classmate makes this world a better place to be. I think I got through to them and they didn't end the day miserable. It was a victory, but one hard fought for. (A huge shoutout to the Civic Engagement team, who came and helped us; they were an essential piece to the success of this project.)
It was another day of rain on Wednesday, but it was the first day in a while that I've woken up and been super excited for work. All I needed was to get to bed before 10:00 instead of a few minutes after. Wednesday was the first day that Charlie was back, but Bear was home and Chris was in the office. While we didn't have a united team, we were all happy to have Charlie back.
In math class, the students spent time doing division problems with variables. Most of the students did not know that you can cancel some variables if they are on the top and bottom of a fraction. I illustrated how on the board and I think that a few students picked up on it. It's a little confusing, but these students need others to believe in them, to push them to do the challenging problems. If they can enter high school with more self-confidence, they will be able to achieve a lot more. I know that some of my students are apprehensive of entering a new world in a few months. "Whitney" confessed that she's afraid that she'll get a problem wrong in class and be made fun of by students from neighboring towns. Unfortunately, the town of Seabrook is looked on by some people from nearby communities, even though there is nothing that different among the towns. I told her and the students sitting around her that they are amazing, intelligent people and the students from other schools aren't any better than them. I told them they are definitely capable of going to college, just like my friend Chris (who came to my college from Seabrook). I wanted to tell them so much more, to instill in them pride and self-confidence, but it will take time. I truly believe that these kids are capable of greatness – they can't let the slings and arrows of others knock them down.
My day wasn't all about seriousness. "Samuel" and his friend have been discussing Pokemon since Monday, when Samuel called me "Poliwag." Back on Monday, his friend was down in the dumps and talking about Pokemon perked him up. So today, when they started talking about Pokmeon, I listened to them. I want to make more of a connection with Samuel and I think that being jovial with him will help. He told me two Pokemon jokes on Wednesday that made me giggle in the back of the classroom. The best was, "Why don't you take a Pokemon in the shower? Because it might Pikachu!" I shared the jokes with so many people – my teammates, our team buddy, and other staff people. It was something that rippled quite far and I need to tell Samuel how much he entertained us. It might give him some self-confidence.
The social studies teacher returned triumphantly from a three-day conference on Thursday. I was happy that he was back and ready to shake things up. During the first three days of this week, students were sitting at their desk reading packets and taking notes. Today, however, they were divided into groups for a lesson on Egypt. Each group was responsible for reading a few pages from the book then drawing notes on a poster. Students took notes after each group presented. They needed at least ten before they could complete their homework assignment, a paragraph on life in Egypt. I was delighted to see each of my students taking notes without prompting. I don't want to treat them like kindergartners who need every instruction dictated to them, so I'm proud that they're doing things independently.
Friday was a very weird day. It was snowing on the way to work and by the afternoon, it was sunny. The weather reflected my mental frame as I was all over the place during the day. The morning started slow because most people seemed to be unenthusiastic. Perhaps it is because the weather was wintry and people had gotten used to spring. But then we went inside for more information on the Starry Starry Night rollout. Starry Starry Night is our huge fundraising gala; the Resource and Development team has been working on it for months. Partway through the Q2Q run-through, I started to panic. There were so many moving parts and I didn't want to mess anything up. But then I became excited by the prospect of meeting and talking with numerous City Year supporters from across the state. By the end of the morning, I just didn't know what to think. Basically, I was just overwhelmed by the whole event. Thankfully, everyone around me told me not to worry. I realized that once the day started, I would be fine -- once I started working, I wouldn't have time to freak out.
During our IJ session, we were discussing the trajectory of our spirit and purpose over the past seven months. I confessed that I am at a lower point than I was when I started in September. While the rest of the team discussed their charts, I realized why I've been unhappy lately. I feel like I'm someone that others look to constantly for energy, optimism and dedication. And, for the most part, that's okay with me. I know that most of the time I can help motivate others to be better. But sometimes, I just don't feel good. In those moments, I need others to recognize that I need time to step back; they need to pick up the slack. Maybe it's a little selfish. I do know that I can't stay like this forever. I'd be letting down my teammates and, more importantly, my students. But I can't force myself out of a funk. It will happen -- hopefully soon.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Hardest Week So Far
A constant downpour greeted me on Monday morning. I was still excited for a great week of service and danced in the rain, waiting for the rest of my team to arrive. We headed to school but after getting off I-95 in Seabrook, we noticed something was amiss. All of the streetlights were off and stores were dark. When we arrived at school, they told us that the school had a two-hour delay. We retreated to Timberland for a brief period of time then headed back to Seabrook. It was more than a little disappointing to discover that school was closed. As pleased as I was to have a break from the routine, I was not happy that I wouldn't be able to work with my students.
I didn't waste the day, though. The team spent some time before lunch discussing some of our students, giving each other advice on how to approach each child. We spent the most time on "Charles," a seventh-grader who has very destructive tendencies. Amber is hindered in her ability to make progress with Charles; he is unresponsive most of the time and when Amber is able to make some headway, Charles decimates whatever work he's accomplished when she turns her back. It is excruciating for me to interact with him and I don't even see him more than five minutes a day. But Amber seemed to glean some new tactics from the discussion. If she is unwilling to give up on Charles then he is in good hands; Amber has much more patience and a bigger heart than I do when working with students like Charles. She told us Tuesday that some of the tips worked. Charles was able to get down to work and completed his assignment with no prompting. This was the first time all year that it's happened.
On Tuesday, things were back to normal at Seabrook Middle School. In social studies, students were working on a one day project, creating an advertisement for an African locale. All of the students were working hard on it and many of my seven got theirs finished! What a good class. "Samuel" got his done and was working on his diligently throughout the class. I'm proud of him since he was working next to a good friend of his. Samuel's biggest problem, I think, is his desire to please others. He'll sublimate himself if it means that other people will talk with him. I plan on getting him to realize he's worth something regardless of the opinions of those around him.
My work during science class was not quite as productive at the time, but good things will come of it. The students watched a movie on male pubescent changes; some students weren't allowed to watch it because they failed to turn in their permission slips and spent the period in the library doing bookwork. The teacher was out and I wanted to make sure the paraprofessional wasn't overwhelmed by the laughing and giggling of immature eighth graders, so I stayed for a second period of science. The students were actually fine, so I left and headed to the library. "Lauren" and "Shirley" hadn't done more than one answer. I got down to work with them but it was like pulling teeth. However, the victory for the day was working with Lauren. She's one of Diane's students and I've never really worked with her, but I think she's more comfortable with me now. At least she'll start saying hello to me in the hallways.
Tuesday, right before I headed home, I was in a very sour mood. I'm not quite sure why I was predisposed to feel angry, but I know that when I realized I wouldn't be able to get home by 7:00 I became upset. I'm not sure what's going on with me, but in the middle of the week I was really not happy with how things were going. Maybe it's because I didn't know what I'm doing next year; I was still waiting until Friday to find out whether or not I got a senior corps position. Maybe it's the long hours. Maybe it was the long, cold, lonely winter as George Harrison would say. Whatever it is, I knew I needed to take a personal day. On Wednesday, I stayed home and enjoyed the good weather and thought about where I'm at. It didn't solve the unhappiness – there are bigger things in play with this situation – but I'm glad I wasn't at work to spread the disease to my teammates.
Thursday was a big day. The eighth graders took their first step into a much larger world: Winnacunnet High School. All of the students that will be attending Winnacunnet came together on Thursday to learn a little more about the world they'll be in for the next four years. The students from Seabrook were the first to arrive; I noticed how quiet they were as the other eighth graders entered the gym. Some of my students were nervous; "Audrey" asked me to sit next to her not because she wanted me around, but because she didn't want someone unfamiliar next to her. These kids, for all of their posturing and desire to be given independence, are still afraid of the unknown – like most adults, actually.
During lunch, students had to sit with others who have birthdays close to theirs. This forced them to be in close proximity to students from other schools. Whether they talked with them or not is another story. I did talk a little bit with "Whitney"; she asked me why I wasn't eating. It's a simple question, but it shows she's at least comfortable enough to talk with me. That's something I can't say for all of my students.
After lunch, students went on tours of the school to learn more about possible electives. I was proud to see that "Thomas" is so enthusiastic about the possibilities that high school presents – he marked down his top six choices when the guidance counselor only wanted five. I think the time management necessary to be successful in JROTC, trimester-long sports and passing classes will benefit Thomas. If he can learn to be kinder to others, he is going to go far.
Thursday evening was spent at our team buddy Taylor's house for a feedback session. Each member of the team had a chance to share praises and deltas for every person in a one-on-one session. Things have not been going smoothly on our team. I am not sure of the reason why. Some people aren't getting along and I think people are just feeling stressed and overwhelmed by our service and uncertainties about the coming year. At the beginning of the feedback session, I was not happy and I couldn't pinpoint why. Could I handle another year of City Year – if I was even offered a position? Is it the lack of free time? Is it the madness of frayed personal dynamics? But just having the chance to talk with other people on my team on a deeper level helped me feel better. It's something I will have to do more of in the future. Unfortunately, I think the problems on our team still exist – but at least now the path for communication has opened.
I was not sure what Friday would hold for me and City Year New Hampshire at its start, but I was optimistic. We traveled to UNH Manchester for "Life After AmeriCorps" with corps members from other AmeriCorps programs. I wasn't expecting much from the sessions I registered for – "12 Tips for Successful Networking" and "Grant Writing 101" – but they were worth attending. Debby, the facilitator for the Networking session, emphasized the importance of a natural connection, on being impressed by the other person. This focus on the loveliness of human interaction was what was lacking at the Comcast Career Day. And while I have never tried writing a grant and may not for the foreseeable future, attending a session on how to do it gave me a lot of tips and ideas for when that challenge arises.
The other major development of the day was the announcement of who received offers for senior corps positions. These announcements were done individually during lunch. This was a major thing, obviously, and I know that many others (including my best friend at CYNH) were all wrung out when faced with learning about the decision. I have never been one for celebrating myself. When I was younger, I hid my good grades because I didn't want others knowing me by my As or comparing themselves to me. There's more to me than my successes and failures. So I too was nervous about walking out of the room after learning that I received an offer for the Resource Development Project Leader position. My friend Dylan and teammate Bear were both congratulatory; Dylan cheered me on. But I slunk away for lunch in a secluded part of the building; I didn't want to be around to learn about others' positions. They would tell me when they felt comfortable.
Overall, I am excited about the prospects of next year. There are some changes that are coming to CYNH, the biggest being welcoming a new corps. But I know that being lost in the crystal ball of next year will ruin the remainder of this one. For the next three months, I am a proud member of the Timberland Seabrook Stone Soup Team. I owe my seven students, all of the students of Seabrook Middle School, my teammates, my sitemates and everyone I come in contact with my complete and unwavering dedication. This has been the hardest week of my City Year so far and I know that sometimes I am going to be unhappy. But that's okay -- that's part of this. But I won't force myself to stay there and celebrate my sadness. This work is too important to be a stick in the mud; my students and teammates deserve better. So I end this week on an optimistic note. I know I can make the next week better, so let's do it.
I didn't waste the day, though. The team spent some time before lunch discussing some of our students, giving each other advice on how to approach each child. We spent the most time on "Charles," a seventh-grader who has very destructive tendencies. Amber is hindered in her ability to make progress with Charles; he is unresponsive most of the time and when Amber is able to make some headway, Charles decimates whatever work he's accomplished when she turns her back. It is excruciating for me to interact with him and I don't even see him more than five minutes a day. But Amber seemed to glean some new tactics from the discussion. If she is unwilling to give up on Charles then he is in good hands; Amber has much more patience and a bigger heart than I do when working with students like Charles. She told us Tuesday that some of the tips worked. Charles was able to get down to work and completed his assignment with no prompting. This was the first time all year that it's happened.
On Tuesday, things were back to normal at Seabrook Middle School. In social studies, students were working on a one day project, creating an advertisement for an African locale. All of the students were working hard on it and many of my seven got theirs finished! What a good class. "Samuel" got his done and was working on his diligently throughout the class. I'm proud of him since he was working next to a good friend of his. Samuel's biggest problem, I think, is his desire to please others. He'll sublimate himself if it means that other people will talk with him. I plan on getting him to realize he's worth something regardless of the opinions of those around him.
My work during science class was not quite as productive at the time, but good things will come of it. The students watched a movie on male pubescent changes; some students weren't allowed to watch it because they failed to turn in their permission slips and spent the period in the library doing bookwork. The teacher was out and I wanted to make sure the paraprofessional wasn't overwhelmed by the laughing and giggling of immature eighth graders, so I stayed for a second period of science. The students were actually fine, so I left and headed to the library. "Lauren" and "Shirley" hadn't done more than one answer. I got down to work with them but it was like pulling teeth. However, the victory for the day was working with Lauren. She's one of Diane's students and I've never really worked with her, but I think she's more comfortable with me now. At least she'll start saying hello to me in the hallways.
Tuesday, right before I headed home, I was in a very sour mood. I'm not quite sure why I was predisposed to feel angry, but I know that when I realized I wouldn't be able to get home by 7:00 I became upset. I'm not sure what's going on with me, but in the middle of the week I was really not happy with how things were going. Maybe it's because I didn't know what I'm doing next year; I was still waiting until Friday to find out whether or not I got a senior corps position. Maybe it's the long hours. Maybe it was the long, cold, lonely winter as George Harrison would say. Whatever it is, I knew I needed to take a personal day. On Wednesday, I stayed home and enjoyed the good weather and thought about where I'm at. It didn't solve the unhappiness – there are bigger things in play with this situation – but I'm glad I wasn't at work to spread the disease to my teammates.
Thursday was a big day. The eighth graders took their first step into a much larger world: Winnacunnet High School. All of the students that will be attending Winnacunnet came together on Thursday to learn a little more about the world they'll be in for the next four years. The students from Seabrook were the first to arrive; I noticed how quiet they were as the other eighth graders entered the gym. Some of my students were nervous; "Audrey" asked me to sit next to her not because she wanted me around, but because she didn't want someone unfamiliar next to her. These kids, for all of their posturing and desire to be given independence, are still afraid of the unknown – like most adults, actually.
During lunch, students had to sit with others who have birthdays close to theirs. This forced them to be in close proximity to students from other schools. Whether they talked with them or not is another story. I did talk a little bit with "Whitney"; she asked me why I wasn't eating. It's a simple question, but it shows she's at least comfortable enough to talk with me. That's something I can't say for all of my students.
After lunch, students went on tours of the school to learn more about possible electives. I was proud to see that "Thomas" is so enthusiastic about the possibilities that high school presents – he marked down his top six choices when the guidance counselor only wanted five. I think the time management necessary to be successful in JROTC, trimester-long sports and passing classes will benefit Thomas. If he can learn to be kinder to others, he is going to go far.
Thursday evening was spent at our team buddy Taylor's house for a feedback session. Each member of the team had a chance to share praises and deltas for every person in a one-on-one session. Things have not been going smoothly on our team. I am not sure of the reason why. Some people aren't getting along and I think people are just feeling stressed and overwhelmed by our service and uncertainties about the coming year. At the beginning of the feedback session, I was not happy and I couldn't pinpoint why. Could I handle another year of City Year – if I was even offered a position? Is it the lack of free time? Is it the madness of frayed personal dynamics? But just having the chance to talk with other people on my team on a deeper level helped me feel better. It's something I will have to do more of in the future. Unfortunately, I think the problems on our team still exist – but at least now the path for communication has opened.
I was not sure what Friday would hold for me and City Year New Hampshire at its start, but I was optimistic. We traveled to UNH Manchester for "Life After AmeriCorps" with corps members from other AmeriCorps programs. I wasn't expecting much from the sessions I registered for – "12 Tips for Successful Networking" and "Grant Writing 101" – but they were worth attending. Debby, the facilitator for the Networking session, emphasized the importance of a natural connection, on being impressed by the other person. This focus on the loveliness of human interaction was what was lacking at the Comcast Career Day. And while I have never tried writing a grant and may not for the foreseeable future, attending a session on how to do it gave me a lot of tips and ideas for when that challenge arises.
The other major development of the day was the announcement of who received offers for senior corps positions. These announcements were done individually during lunch. This was a major thing, obviously, and I know that many others (including my best friend at CYNH) were all wrung out when faced with learning about the decision. I have never been one for celebrating myself. When I was younger, I hid my good grades because I didn't want others knowing me by my As or comparing themselves to me. There's more to me than my successes and failures. So I too was nervous about walking out of the room after learning that I received an offer for the Resource Development Project Leader position. My friend Dylan and teammate Bear were both congratulatory; Dylan cheered me on. But I slunk away for lunch in a secluded part of the building; I didn't want to be around to learn about others' positions. They would tell me when they felt comfortable.
Overall, I am excited about the prospects of next year. There are some changes that are coming to CYNH, the biggest being welcoming a new corps. But I know that being lost in the crystal ball of next year will ruin the remainder of this one. For the next three months, I am a proud member of the Timberland Seabrook Stone Soup Team. I owe my seven students, all of the students of Seabrook Middle School, my teammates, my sitemates and everyone I come in contact with my complete and unwavering dedication. This has been the hardest week of my City Year so far and I know that sometimes I am going to be unhappy. But that's okay -- that's part of this. But I won't force myself to stay there and celebrate my sadness. This work is too important to be a stick in the mud; my students and teammates deserve better. So I end this week on an optimistic note. I know I can make the next week better, so let's do it.
Friday, March 12, 2010
A Week of Rejuvenation
I did not start this week off on a good foot. I woke up exhausted and miserable on Monday. I didn't get enough sleep and my laptop's screen wasn't working. I really did not want to go to work – I just wanted to get back into bed. But my laptop started working again and it was enough to energize me. All I needed was something small to get me going. I went to work and did some great power greeting. I was disheartened a bit to find out that "Christine," one of my seven students that I am working with to keep in school and on track, moved to Portsmouth. But hopefully she'll be in a much better environment for success. I have to accept that I had some time that I was able to work with her and hope that I made a difference.
My team rushed back from school so I could be on time for my senior corps interview. I really have a great group of people working with me. The interview went smoothly and I feel comfortable with it. The interview process, in general, is an odd thing. It is an attempt to figure out what a person would be like in a certain situation without really seeing them operate. Luckily, Bobby and Ted (my interviewers) are aware of who I am and how I work based on the past few months. Still, it was a draining experience and I ended the day with a massive headache. But I was looking forward to Tuesday – a day to sleep in and hang out with my team!
I woke up refreshed and in a much better frame of mind on Tuesday. I only slept in an hour and a half later than most days, but it was enough to refresh me. "I feel good enough to work for six months straight," I told Amber on our ride into work. It was a really pleasant start to the morning. Spring is coming and I think I really need it.
Since Seabrook wasn't in session on Tuesday, our team spent the day in the office. The first hour or so of work was odd; it was as if I had nothing to do. This definitely isn't the case. Plans for Saturday's Destination Imagination competition were still fluctuating. Global Youth Service Day is coming up, and this will demand a lot of work from each of us on the Seabrook team. GYSD is a day when all of the students in our school participate in a huge service project. We are going to be working in four different sites around the Seacoast. My role is to work with Diane to help engage the Student Leadership Club as team leaders for the various projects, prepare an opening program for the day and help excite the students. It's a daunting task but if I get an hour or two to really contemplate it, I'll be able to handle it and do something phenomenal. I am looking forward to it – as long as I get a chance to clear my head soon.
I think that after Saturday, my mind will be a lot less fatigued. Saturday is the regional competition for Destination Imagination, the program that I have been helping to lead since November. A week ago, I thought we wouldn't be able to compete at all. On Tuesday I found out that we can still participate in the Instant Challenge, a portion of the competition that requires students to exercise their improvisation skills. After discovering this, I contacted our two team members and started figuring out general logistics for Saturday. It is way too late in the game to be pulling this all together, but I wanted to do what I could to give "Jacques" and "Mike" a day of celebration and a sense of finality to the year.
Unfortunately, Jacques decided that he was not interested in attending the competition on Saturday. This meant that we wouldn't be able to compete and "Mike" would have to come on his own if he wanted to check out the event. I was really sad and disappointed about it, but all I can do is move on and hope that I can do better with other things. Chris and I agreed that Mike has grown a lot this year. Between his involvement in DI and his work on the nascent school paper with Amber and a seventh grade teacher, Mike has become more of a leader and more capable when dealing with difficult situations. Though it may look like a failure, DI has given us a victory.
At the end of the first half of the week, I realized that I have been a lot more negative and cynical lately. Any remarks about DI have been frustrations and unhappiness. I need to get over myself and realize that my cynicism can bring down the morale of those around me. Additionally, when I spend most of the day lamenting the situation, I take away the chance for others to talk about their day – the good and the bad. Being aware of this flaw is an essential first step, but I must seek to put myself in a better frame of mind, every single day.
And by Wednesday morning, I was there -- ready and excited to work. Throughout this week, I have been much more engaging with students, smiling and laughing to make them happier to be at school. If I can make their days brighter, then I'm doing a great job. In science, we've started working on the reproductive system. It could be approached in a very detached way, but the science teacher has been welcoming all questions from students. I'm glad that she respects her class. When a student asked about the transgender man who gave birth to a baby, the teacher's response was respectful to both the student and the man; she didn't ignore the question or describe the situation as weird. I'm happy that the students at Seabrook are exposed to such tolerance.
My great mood continued on Thursday. Since the kids at Seabrook were dismissed at noon, we had a semi-team day. We had planned on having a picnic but the weather was not conducive for that. Instead, we went to a Mexican restaurant and played soccer and Frisbee in the Timberland parking lot. When the ladies left to pick up dresses for Starry Starry Night, the rest of the team worked on our team board. Each team made a board that will hang in the lobby of the Timberland building; ours looks really rad. Thursday was exactly what I needed to get myself back into the swing of things.
Friday was a very big day! We had our first large all corps service day in a few months, and it was made more special by the fact that many of us got to serve alongside our Timberland mentors. We went to IMEC in Andover, Massachusetts, a non-profit organization that collects hospital supplies to supply third-world countries with modern equipment and setups. As with most service projects, the first half hour or so was stressful and I didn't really know what was going on. But as soon as I got into a rhythm, I was all set. The group that my mentor and I were with working with was responsible for setting up pallets with equipment for exam rooms. My mentor and I were in charge of moving the completed pallets to a storage area. My legs were pretty tired by the end of the day, but I'm proud to say that we completed 33 rooms.
Not only was the work we did worthwhile, but it was a great chance to connect with my mentor. When you do service with someone, you get to see another side of them. You see how they work, their reaction to stressful situations, and you're bonded by accomplishing something together. It was a great end to the week and I am excited for another week of service to come!
P.S. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to add them! It'll reassure me that people are getting something out of this.
My team rushed back from school so I could be on time for my senior corps interview. I really have a great group of people working with me. The interview went smoothly and I feel comfortable with it. The interview process, in general, is an odd thing. It is an attempt to figure out what a person would be like in a certain situation without really seeing them operate. Luckily, Bobby and Ted (my interviewers) are aware of who I am and how I work based on the past few months. Still, it was a draining experience and I ended the day with a massive headache. But I was looking forward to Tuesday – a day to sleep in and hang out with my team!
I woke up refreshed and in a much better frame of mind on Tuesday. I only slept in an hour and a half later than most days, but it was enough to refresh me. "I feel good enough to work for six months straight," I told Amber on our ride into work. It was a really pleasant start to the morning. Spring is coming and I think I really need it.
Since Seabrook wasn't in session on Tuesday, our team spent the day in the office. The first hour or so of work was odd; it was as if I had nothing to do. This definitely isn't the case. Plans for Saturday's Destination Imagination competition were still fluctuating. Global Youth Service Day is coming up, and this will demand a lot of work from each of us on the Seabrook team. GYSD is a day when all of the students in our school participate in a huge service project. We are going to be working in four different sites around the Seacoast. My role is to work with Diane to help engage the Student Leadership Club as team leaders for the various projects, prepare an opening program for the day and help excite the students. It's a daunting task but if I get an hour or two to really contemplate it, I'll be able to handle it and do something phenomenal. I am looking forward to it – as long as I get a chance to clear my head soon.
I think that after Saturday, my mind will be a lot less fatigued. Saturday is the regional competition for Destination Imagination, the program that I have been helping to lead since November. A week ago, I thought we wouldn't be able to compete at all. On Tuesday I found out that we can still participate in the Instant Challenge, a portion of the competition that requires students to exercise their improvisation skills. After discovering this, I contacted our two team members and started figuring out general logistics for Saturday. It is way too late in the game to be pulling this all together, but I wanted to do what I could to give "Jacques" and "Mike" a day of celebration and a sense of finality to the year.
Unfortunately, Jacques decided that he was not interested in attending the competition on Saturday. This meant that we wouldn't be able to compete and "Mike" would have to come on his own if he wanted to check out the event. I was really sad and disappointed about it, but all I can do is move on and hope that I can do better with other things. Chris and I agreed that Mike has grown a lot this year. Between his involvement in DI and his work on the nascent school paper with Amber and a seventh grade teacher, Mike has become more of a leader and more capable when dealing with difficult situations. Though it may look like a failure, DI has given us a victory.
At the end of the first half of the week, I realized that I have been a lot more negative and cynical lately. Any remarks about DI have been frustrations and unhappiness. I need to get over myself and realize that my cynicism can bring down the morale of those around me. Additionally, when I spend most of the day lamenting the situation, I take away the chance for others to talk about their day – the good and the bad. Being aware of this flaw is an essential first step, but I must seek to put myself in a better frame of mind, every single day.
And by Wednesday morning, I was there -- ready and excited to work. Throughout this week, I have been much more engaging with students, smiling and laughing to make them happier to be at school. If I can make their days brighter, then I'm doing a great job. In science, we've started working on the reproductive system. It could be approached in a very detached way, but the science teacher has been welcoming all questions from students. I'm glad that she respects her class. When a student asked about the transgender man who gave birth to a baby, the teacher's response was respectful to both the student and the man; she didn't ignore the question or describe the situation as weird. I'm happy that the students at Seabrook are exposed to such tolerance.
My great mood continued on Thursday. Since the kids at Seabrook were dismissed at noon, we had a semi-team day. We had planned on having a picnic but the weather was not conducive for that. Instead, we went to a Mexican restaurant and played soccer and Frisbee in the Timberland parking lot. When the ladies left to pick up dresses for Starry Starry Night, the rest of the team worked on our team board. Each team made a board that will hang in the lobby of the Timberland building; ours looks really rad. Thursday was exactly what I needed to get myself back into the swing of things.
Friday was a very big day! We had our first large all corps service day in a few months, and it was made more special by the fact that many of us got to serve alongside our Timberland mentors. We went to IMEC in Andover, Massachusetts, a non-profit organization that collects hospital supplies to supply third-world countries with modern equipment and setups. As with most service projects, the first half hour or so was stressful and I didn't really know what was going on. But as soon as I got into a rhythm, I was all set. The group that my mentor and I were with working with was responsible for setting up pallets with equipment for exam rooms. My mentor and I were in charge of moving the completed pallets to a storage area. My legs were pretty tired by the end of the day, but I'm proud to say that we completed 33 rooms.
Not only was the work we did worthwhile, but it was a great chance to connect with my mentor. When you do service with someone, you get to see another side of them. You see how they work, their reaction to stressful situations, and you're bonded by accomplishing something together. It was a great end to the week and I am excited for another week of service to come!
P.S. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to add them! It'll reassure me that people are getting something out of this.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Struggling to Find My Path
My time at school on Monday was feeling a bit long at times. It's been hard for me to get excited about my work in school since I applied for a senior corps position a few weeks ago. I applied to become the Resource Development project leader, a position that involves leading the corps members in fundraising and reaching out to people through the visitors' program. I've been looking forward to next year and I need to be careful that it's not at the expense of this year. Of course, there is no guarantee that I will even be here next year – those decisions won't be made for another week or two. I can't get cocky.
It's not like I've been slacking off. In fact, I was forcing myself to get back into the school mindset on Monday. I had some victories with "Shirley" and "Christine." They were talking with each other in math and FACS class instead of doing their work. But I hunkered down and made them work. Ordering them to start their assignments didn't lead to anything productive; I instead targeted one girl at a time, walking them through their problems. When I did this, the other girl started watching and hopefully understood the material.
"Sophia" continues to impress me – at times – with her work effort. To be sure, she was not prepared for her presentation in social studies. But when the teacher handed her a listing of her grades, she immediately identified which assignments were incomplete and which had not been handed in. Later, in science, she separated the graded papers that were handed back by grades. There were four piles face up – ones in the 70s, ones in the 80s, another group of 90s and one 100. The fifth pile was face down. These were the ones she deemed unacceptable. She determined that she only wanted to get grades in the top three piles. With the third and final trimester approaching, I am excited to start on a good foot.
But by Tuesday, Sophia had a different mindset. She came to social studies unprepared for her presentation; she had to print out her script. I was disappointed when I saw that it contained about ten sentences – ten sentences for a three minute presentation. After class, the teacher asked me to have Sophia collect her notes and other pieces for the presentation to hand in. Sophia couldn't find them, so we went to check her locker. When they didn't jump out and bite her, she ran off, claiming she needed to get to lunch. I was very frustrated because she didn't take the time to look for her papers so she can get a passing grade. How can she pass if she's stuck in a cycle of simply making up late work and never handing things in on time?
I wasn't in my best form on Tuesday. I had to accept that students are going to be obstinate, refusing to do some part of their work. The biggest success of the day was putting up the Windows to Literacy board. Windows to Literacy is a project that was piloted by corps members from City Year Boston. It's an attempt to encourage students to read by showing that their favorite City Year corps members have favorite books and are currently reading them. My host at NELA, Brendan, told me about it and we have been working on it for a while at Seabrook. Charlie drew a wonderful picture of a house in the country for us to use as a makeshift window. Amber created the frame. Each person the team let me take a picture of them posing in the library with their favorite book. It came together just in time for Read Across America day on Wednesday.
Wednesday started off strong and stayed great throughout the day. Once again I realized the necessity of having a full stomach before service. I bought a muffin from the Gorge; my belly was filled and I was energetic. Having my team leader arrive at Seabrook Middle School dressed as the Cat in the Hat sealed the deal – Wednesday would be a great day.
I had some victories in school. I coaxed a smile from Shirley after calling her the "Triangle Master" and "Angle Master" again. I was delighted to hear her ask another student for clarification on a problem. "Thomas" and I were friendly in science and I'm hoping to become more of a mentor for him. I would like to start meeting with him during Learning Lab periods so I can make him feel better about his day. He reminds me of my friend Eric from grade school – a child who wants to be accepted but doesn't know how to do it without coming off as antagonistic.
I left Seabrook Middle School early to return to Timberland. I was participating in a Visitor's Program with another corps member; we would be talking about our experiences as City Year corps members with a community member. After that, I spent my time in the office working on odds and ends. I took the time to make another invitation on Facebook in an attempt to sell calendar raffles. These calendar raffles are the main method of fundraising for our Winter Camp last week; once we cover the cost of this year's camp, the remaining money raised will go towards programming for next year. I did sell a few -- I'm hoping to sell 100 before the month of March is over. Only 40 left!
I thought that Thursday would be another day of successes and feeling good about my service. Throughout the entire day of classes, I was on fire. I was connecting with students and taking opportunities to teach about other things. For example, "Erica" referenced that the people in Brazil speak the same language as those in her birth country, but it just sounds different. I told her and a few other students the reason why: back when the Europeans were sending explorers to the Americas, the Pope created the Line of Demarcation to separate Spanish-controlled lands from Portuguese-controlled lands. It wasn't the most exciting story, and "Sally" poked fun at me -- but I think they now know a little bit more about the Age of Exploration than they did before.
Then I went to our weekly meeting of Destination Imagination. For a variety of reasons, I don't think that we'll be able to compete at the regional competition on the 13th. This disappointed both members of our team. We only had two there on Thursday since the third quit -- though he didn't tell me about it; I received the information second-hand. Even though this opens up our schedule, I still feel like I failed at part of DI. It is the only thing that I regret about this year; there are many things that I could have done better.
My team members could tell that I was disappointed and frustrated. They did what they could to inject some cheer into my night. When Chris told me that he was proud of all I accomplished, the burden of disappointment felt lighter. There was still some stress that needed to be let loose; screaming along to "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads on my drive home allowed me to release my frustration in a sensible way.
On Friday, the CYNH corps ventured down to the Boston headquarters for Comcast Career Day. We had five presentations on various topics relating to the corporate world. They were disheartening; I realized that City Year operates in a much different way from the way that the corporate world operates. I've said it many times before, but I believe that City Year's primary mission is to help people understand that they must appreciate others for their abilities, to meet others where they're at. According to the presentations filtered through the lens of the corporate world, people must always act in a way that will appeal to others. Appearance and networking are the ways to achieve success. I know that I am drastically oversimplifying both worlds, but that's how things felt to me throughout Friday.
The day ended with a session called "18 Minute Networking." It was like speed dating but with careers. I appreciate all of the work that went into it, but it overwhelmed me. I'm not ready to decide on a career or create a path for myself. The most enlightening and rewarding part of the day was a conversation I had with a security guard while a group of us were walking around Boston. I asked him how his day was, we talked briefly about the weather and I ended up telling him a little about City Year. From there, I got to hear a little about his life story – he grew up in the richest county in New York but didn't have anything there, so he stayed in Boston after college. He also said, "It doesn't matter how much you get paid, as long as it's rewarding." And I agree. If I get to spend the rest of my life making honest connections like I did with Lou the security guard, well, that's a life well spent.
It's not like I've been slacking off. In fact, I was forcing myself to get back into the school mindset on Monday. I had some victories with "Shirley" and "Christine." They were talking with each other in math and FACS class instead of doing their work. But I hunkered down and made them work. Ordering them to start their assignments didn't lead to anything productive; I instead targeted one girl at a time, walking them through their problems. When I did this, the other girl started watching and hopefully understood the material.
"Sophia" continues to impress me – at times – with her work effort. To be sure, she was not prepared for her presentation in social studies. But when the teacher handed her a listing of her grades, she immediately identified which assignments were incomplete and which had not been handed in. Later, in science, she separated the graded papers that were handed back by grades. There were four piles face up – ones in the 70s, ones in the 80s, another group of 90s and one 100. The fifth pile was face down. These were the ones she deemed unacceptable. She determined that she only wanted to get grades in the top three piles. With the third and final trimester approaching, I am excited to start on a good foot.
But by Tuesday, Sophia had a different mindset. She came to social studies unprepared for her presentation; she had to print out her script. I was disappointed when I saw that it contained about ten sentences – ten sentences for a three minute presentation. After class, the teacher asked me to have Sophia collect her notes and other pieces for the presentation to hand in. Sophia couldn't find them, so we went to check her locker. When they didn't jump out and bite her, she ran off, claiming she needed to get to lunch. I was very frustrated because she didn't take the time to look for her papers so she can get a passing grade. How can she pass if she's stuck in a cycle of simply making up late work and never handing things in on time?
I wasn't in my best form on Tuesday. I had to accept that students are going to be obstinate, refusing to do some part of their work. The biggest success of the day was putting up the Windows to Literacy board. Windows to Literacy is a project that was piloted by corps members from City Year Boston. It's an attempt to encourage students to read by showing that their favorite City Year corps members have favorite books and are currently reading them. My host at NELA, Brendan, told me about it and we have been working on it for a while at Seabrook. Charlie drew a wonderful picture of a house in the country for us to use as a makeshift window. Amber created the frame. Each person the team let me take a picture of them posing in the library with their favorite book. It came together just in time for Read Across America day on Wednesday.
Wednesday started off strong and stayed great throughout the day. Once again I realized the necessity of having a full stomach before service. I bought a muffin from the Gorge; my belly was filled and I was energetic. Having my team leader arrive at Seabrook Middle School dressed as the Cat in the Hat sealed the deal – Wednesday would be a great day.
I had some victories in school. I coaxed a smile from Shirley after calling her the "Triangle Master" and "Angle Master" again. I was delighted to hear her ask another student for clarification on a problem. "Thomas" and I were friendly in science and I'm hoping to become more of a mentor for him. I would like to start meeting with him during Learning Lab periods so I can make him feel better about his day. He reminds me of my friend Eric from grade school – a child who wants to be accepted but doesn't know how to do it without coming off as antagonistic.
I left Seabrook Middle School early to return to Timberland. I was participating in a Visitor's Program with another corps member; we would be talking about our experiences as City Year corps members with a community member. After that, I spent my time in the office working on odds and ends. I took the time to make another invitation on Facebook in an attempt to sell calendar raffles. These calendar raffles are the main method of fundraising for our Winter Camp last week; once we cover the cost of this year's camp, the remaining money raised will go towards programming for next year. I did sell a few -- I'm hoping to sell 100 before the month of March is over. Only 40 left!
I thought that Thursday would be another day of successes and feeling good about my service. Throughout the entire day of classes, I was on fire. I was connecting with students and taking opportunities to teach about other things. For example, "Erica" referenced that the people in Brazil speak the same language as those in her birth country, but it just sounds different. I told her and a few other students the reason why: back when the Europeans were sending explorers to the Americas, the Pope created the Line of Demarcation to separate Spanish-controlled lands from Portuguese-controlled lands. It wasn't the most exciting story, and "Sally" poked fun at me -- but I think they now know a little bit more about the Age of Exploration than they did before.
Then I went to our weekly meeting of Destination Imagination. For a variety of reasons, I don't think that we'll be able to compete at the regional competition on the 13th. This disappointed both members of our team. We only had two there on Thursday since the third quit -- though he didn't tell me about it; I received the information second-hand. Even though this opens up our schedule, I still feel like I failed at part of DI. It is the only thing that I regret about this year; there are many things that I could have done better.
My team members could tell that I was disappointed and frustrated. They did what they could to inject some cheer into my night. When Chris told me that he was proud of all I accomplished, the burden of disappointment felt lighter. There was still some stress that needed to be let loose; screaming along to "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads on my drive home allowed me to release my frustration in a sensible way.
On Friday, the CYNH corps ventured down to the Boston headquarters for Comcast Career Day. We had five presentations on various topics relating to the corporate world. They were disheartening; I realized that City Year operates in a much different way from the way that the corporate world operates. I've said it many times before, but I believe that City Year's primary mission is to help people understand that they must appreciate others for their abilities, to meet others where they're at. According to the presentations filtered through the lens of the corporate world, people must always act in a way that will appeal to others. Appearance and networking are the ways to achieve success. I know that I am drastically oversimplifying both worlds, but that's how things felt to me throughout Friday.
The day ended with a session called "18 Minute Networking." It was like speed dating but with careers. I appreciate all of the work that went into it, but it overwhelmed me. I'm not ready to decide on a career or create a path for myself. The most enlightening and rewarding part of the day was a conversation I had with a security guard while a group of us were walking around Boston. I asked him how his day was, we talked briefly about the weather and I ended up telling him a little about City Year. From there, I got to hear a little about his life story – he grew up in the richest county in New York but didn't have anything there, so he stayed in Boston after college. He also said, "It doesn't matter how much you get paid, as long as it's rewarding." And I agree. If I get to spend the rest of my life making honest connections like I did with Lou the security guard, well, that's a life well spent.
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