This was an intense, demanding week, simultaneously disappointing and fulfilling. It was the week of City Year Winter Camp. All last weekend, I was pumped for it. On my drive to Trinity Church – the site of my region's first two days of camp – I couldn't wait to arrive. But it was hard -- really hard. My energy and optimism was slightly tarnished by the end of the first day, but I was able to reflect on what needed to change and I recovered my energy to help me and others through the rest of the week.
I think it would've helped to have more time with my co-team leader, Lauia, to develop a game plan for how we would work together and with our students. Creating a plan at the beginning of our sessions threw me off of my game; I wasn't comfortable. Since I'm a very strong North, I tended to take over during most of our team time. This is something I tried to avoid during the rest of the weeks since I didn't want Lauia to feel slighted or to take away from her involvement.
The hardest part of the day was dealing with the rambunctious and disinterested group of sixth graders. I instantly reverted to my former camp counselor mentality; my patience was minimal and I responded to most misbehaving students by ordering them to stop. Since I had to do this many, many times throughout Monday, I ended the day feeling frustrated and angry. I wanted students to listen and discuss the topics we covered, but they weren't being respectful. During our feedback and debrief session at the day's conclusion, Bear pointed out the problem with this kind of behavior. Though he was making a general comment on the day – and included himself in the group of people who relied on this approach – it helped me realize why my day was not as good as I wanted. I need to be much more patient and laugh off their behavior -- a technique I can use even after camp is over.
However, there were some great victories during the day. Two of them occurred after our Ubuntu workshop. Ubuntu is a shortened version of a Zulu proverb that means, "I am because you are" – my humanity is tied to yours. This is a pretty grand idea for City Year corps members for grasp, let alone for sixth graders. But one student, "Alfred," really understood the concept. He clearly explained his thoughts on the reason why the Celtics break on the word "ubuntu" before their games. "They work together as a team. They're a community because they're all working for the same goal and rely on each other to succeed," he said. I was so impressed by his insight. Later, "Thomas," a student that works with Diane, showed that he understood the concept. "You need other people. If you don't have other people, you don't matter." Thomas is a wise and intelligent young man, but he doesn't show it often enough. I'm hoping that his time at camp shows him he needs to let that wisdom out.
At the immediate end of Tuesday's day of work, I wanted camps to be over. It's just really disheartening to be spat in the face constantly and I didn't want to do it anymore. But after talking with some people on the camps team and other corps members, I felt that I could have an outstanding final two days of camp. Again, I was disappointed that some kids aren't being respectful but I'm the only one in charge of my emotions and reactions.
Going to bed Tuesday night, I mentally prepared myself to be full of energy, optimism and high spirits. I knew that our time at Camp Berea would be insane. When I saw the weather reports calling for heavy snow, I became even giddier. I knew that things were going to be incredible no matter what happened.
Two minutes before my roommate Moshe and I left for work, I received a phone call saying that camp was cancelled for the day. We were both disappointed but our sadness was immediately converted into a quest to make the day a major success. Our plan started off with food: get some snacks, drinks and donuts and feed the site. We arrived, set the food up, then began creating welcome posters. Joe, a senior corps member who helps out with running workshops and other program events, reacted positively to our idea to power greet the incoming corps and staff members.
We had some great responses. Taylor, one of the staff members, and other employees of the business park honked their horns and waved back. Unfortunately, when the two vans full of corps members from Manchester returned, my exuberance collided with the realism of the situation. Our trip to Camp Berea was cancelled and it was terrible. To see the frustration and sadness on the faces of my fellow corps members was sobering and I seriously considered stuffing my joy in a sack and going about my business.
But things weren't going to stay in that place for long. Bobby, the guy who is pretty much in charge of day to day operations of our programming, gave me the responsibility of leading a brainstorm for ways to welcome the Camps team back. We knew that they were going to be disappointed but we wanted to pump up their spirits so we could make the best of Thursday, the last day of camp. When many people gave suggestions, including those who had been devastated a half hour earlier, I felt much more comfortable with the situation. We were going to do some great things.
People broke into groups to work on the various ideas; that's how we spent the three hours before the camps team arrived. My stomach was going wild -- I was apprehensive, concerned that the camps team would not want to have us be so positive in the face of such a crummy situation. But when 2:00 rolled around, the corps members were waiting in the lobby, ready to go ahead. Bobby gave us the cue, and we went out to meet the camps team doing the chant that we use to start PT. It felt a little funny and possibly excessive to me, but it ended up being perfect. We stood in a line on the pathway to the Timberland building, chanting. Moshe called me up to the front of the line and that's when I lost it. I began stomping around and being as proud and ebullient as possible. When I heard the camps team join in with the chant, I knew things were going to be fine. They entered the building, greeted by other corps members who had balloons with thank you cards for all of them. We met up in a room and I led the site in regrouping and tried to put all of the love and positive energy into words. I wasn't as eloquent as I would've liked, but people were happy.
The whole day was a topsy-turvy one; I didn't do anything but be as positive and energetic as possible. By the end of the day, I think most people's spirits were improved. Obviously, nobody wanted the overnight part of camp to be cancelled. But some of the people who were most devastated by having to stay in the office today were the same ones who felt the day was actually a good one. I don't think I can say it enough -- I love this job and I love the human beings that I work with. What other job lets you spend the day planning a party to boost the spirits of your co-workers? People here just want good things for those around them. It's the greatest place I've ever been.
All of my week's energy was gone by Thursday morning. Since I had spent almost my whole Wednesday bursting with energy and positivity – in addition to having served at the first two days of Winter Camp – I was dragging. However, I was able to energize myself at key moments and help make the day a major victory. There was a lot of time for fun and games as well as some teachable moments. We ran two workshops during the day. "The Jungle" dealt with racism and classism. "The Privilege Line" focused on differences in our advantages and disadvantages as people. While some students took neither seriously, there was a lot of wisdom shared by campers during each.
A great part of the day was the appreciation activity at the day's conclusion. Campers had made journals at the beginning of the week; Thursday gave them the chance to go around and sign each others'. Several campers, including some who were not perfectly attentive throughout the camp, came up to me to ask me to sign their journals. I took the opportunity to praise them using mature language. I wanted all of them to know that they are important human beings – they are in charge of how they live their lives. Though it maybe wasn't as grand or majestic as two days at Camp Berea might have been, the last day of camp was a great success.
Friday was a strange day but a perfect cap to the week. It started with a power outage – a storm came through Thursday night and knocked out power across the New England region. It seems like Mother Nature is out to get us here at CYNH. Thankfully, she spared the Timberland building – a great thing, since we had a big day ahead of us. Jeff Swartz, the CEO of Timberland, talked with us about his worldview. It was an incredibly inspiring morning. You might expect a CEO to be stuffy and self-absorbed, but Jeff is an incredibly engaging human being. Whenever I hear an eloquent and intelligent speaker, I am in awe at their ability to put words together in a profound way. Dylan, Nate and others asked intelligent questions; Jeff had insightful answers. To close it out, Eddie, another corps member, gave Jeff a piece of art that he had created to thank Jeff for speaking with us. It was a replica of the Timberland logo made out of steel. I am still amazed by the greatness that this group of people possesses.
The camps team led us through a wrap up, giving us a chance to give pluses and deltas for the week. There were many deltas but even more positive energy. This week could have led to a lot of anger and resentment – the very nature of a four day event with so many moving parts can result in people getting bent out of shape. Yet everything rolled smoothly. Even with the cancelled portion of camp, things still went well. I'm proud of my fellow corps members and friends that helped to give me another great week.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Happy Birthday to Me: One of the Greatest Weeks Ever
What a crazy, glorious, fantastic week it has been! This has been one of the greatest weeks not only in my city year but also in my life. Just a really excellent seven days.
City Year New Hampshire had Monday off so we could celebrate our great presidents. Personally, I hung up all of my posters of James K. Polk and sang "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too," the campaign theme song for William Henry Harrison. After that day of fun, I was pretty much ready for a great day of service on Tuesday. I did have some work left to do for my senior corps application, but I knew I'd have time after work on Tuesday.
I was quite surprised when I discovered that we had a snow day on Tuesday. However, our Winter Camp was still less than a week away, so several members of the camps team went into work for a few hours. I decided to join them. I spent the morning drawing a large version of the City Year logo and making phone calls to students, asking if they are still interested in attending camp. I had a few rejections and a few positive responses, so there were some victories. I also had the chance to finish my senior corps application before heading back into the snow for the night.
When I woke up on Wednesday, I just did not want to go to school. I was hoping for another snow day because I didn't spend Tuesday's day off doing personal things. But, as PITW #124 says, "Everyone needs to do things that are not in the job description." I spent my day off helping out the camps team with important tasks but that didn't mean that I could slack off because I wanted to stay home. So, during math class, I went to the teachers' lounge to energize myself with some air guitar and self-motivation.
It certainly helped, though the rest of the day definitely had its difficulties. Bear and I went to Seacoast Youth Services to help out with their afterschool program. On Wednesdays, they run a cooking and nutrition program. It's a great program since it teaches students how to eat and cook healthy meals and it feeds them. Unfortunately, a group of sixth graders who have been cooped up inside classrooms all day are not the most attentive people. I spent most of the two hours after work frustrated, shushing students. This is not the way I want to function around students. I knew I needed to do a game check before Wednesday to ensure that I'm doing my best for the students I work with and the people in my community.
Wednesday was not without its victories. "Sophia" is simply knocking her social studies project out of the park. It isn't the greatest presentation ever, but she is spending a lot of time in class working on it and I'm hoping that she completes it on time. Even when I wasn't sitting next to her, Sophia was working on her assignment. I told her how impressed and proud I am of her; I want to see this behavior continue.
At the end of Thursday, I couldn't even comprehend the greatness that is in my life. Thursday was my birthday and, obviously, I was hoping for a really good day. I got one of the greatest days of service so far. Before our readiness check, my teammate Charlie reminded everyone it was my birthday. Chris decided the word for readiness check would be "Happy Birthday Paul." It was a heartwarming start to a day that could only get better if our major activity for the day – Winter Carnival – would happen as planned.
So though I was buoyed by the love of my teammates, I was still a bit trepidatious on the drive into Seabrook. The Winter Carnival was supposed to be our capstone to Spirit Week at Seabrook Middle School. Students, during their UA period (gym, art, music, etc.), would be able to do different activities, such as video games, kickball, basketball, arts and crafts and board games. We weren't sure if it would happen; we might be bumped for to accommodate another event. Within a few minutes of arriving at school, Chris, our team leader, confirmed that the Winter Carnival would proceed as scheduled. This sealed the deal -- I was ready to work.
I was in charge of the video games; students had a choice between Guitar Hero 2 and a karaoke game. Almost surprisingly, there was very little squabbling and students were respectful and orderly. There were some great moments throughout the day. Seeing a student do a kneeslide while playing the guitar solo from "Shout at the Devil". Watching a group of seventh grade girls sing "Wannabe" by The Spice Girls and "YMCA" with Amber and Emerald, a senior corps member who works on recruitment. Seeing a bunch of eighth grade girls hug Allie, another senior corps member who worked in Seabrook's seventh grade last year, before she left. Hearing a student say, "Today was a lot of fun" at the end of the day. Victories, victories all day.
As with most days, there was a low point. Our meeting of DI was productive but very tiring. But I couldn't stay tired for long. Throughout the day, Charlie would tell me Happy Birthday – I couldn't help smiling every time he said it. When we returned to Timberland, I was ambushed by Dylan. He hugged me, swung me around and sang me an improvised happy birthday song. The absolute best part of the day came when it was time to debrief. At the end of each day, we take some time to reflect on our day of service – the good, the not-so good, the things we can improve. Chris usually has an interesting question for us, but Thursday's was a surprise: "Tell us how much you love Paul Riley and how it relates to your day." I got to hear praise from every member of my team, Dylan and Nate (who stopped by momentarily) and Sandra's brother who was visiting for the day. For my debrief response, I told each person why they are important to me.
I also said that I am so happy and lucky to be surrounded by a group of people who care about me and like me. I love the people on my team – they are some of my best friends not only at CYNH but in the world. The events of Thursday -- especially that simple gesture of respect and support -- reaffirmed that this is where I want to be. This is a beautiful world because of people like the corps members and staff at City Year New Hampshire, and I want to spend the rest of my life making other people feel this good about life.
Obviously, I was pretty excited for service on Friday and seeing all of the site again. I knew that we would be spending most of the day preparing for our Winter Camp next week and I was ready for a fun day. Unfortunately, I was greeted by a thoroughly drained camps team. They had stayed at the office until 2:00 in the morning working on things for next week. I was actually a bit offended when someone responded to my energy with, "Looks like Paul wasn't at a camps meeting." My initial reaction was, "Get over yourself. You signed up for this job – you should've known what you were getting into." I kept that thought to myself, though, because I knew that a 19 hour work day isn't an easy thing on a person's mental frame. So instead of grumbling about the surly camps team, I decided to hoot and holler in the parking lot. I danced and shouted in excitement until some senior corps members began challenging me in an excitement dance off. I don't know if it made people's days easier but I was happy to inject some much-needed energy into the morning.
Our first activity of the day lasted a few hours; we reviewed Q2Qs for the four days of camp. I was frustrated again by the vagueness of some instructions. This time, my negative feelings were crushed by a simple change in focus. We spent an hour in an Idealist's Journey session. The IJ sessions are inspired by the work of the mythology scholar Joseph Campbell. They are bi-monthly opportunities to reflect on our service in the context of the hero's journey. During each meeting, two corps members introduce a question that relates in some way to our service. Today, my team discussed the questions, "What inspires you and how can you use that to strengthen your service?" and "What are you unwilling to compromise in your life?" I really needed a break from preparing for camps since we spent the entire afternoon on that.
Our Winter Camp is split into two regions for the first two days: the Seacoast and Merrimack Valley. Lauia, my co-team leader, and I are on the Seacoast with my best buddy Amber, the camps master in that region. All of the people assigned to the Seacoast spent the afternoon at Trinity Church (where we'll be next week) preparing the Look and Feel elements. We made posters and signs that will decorate the camp spaces and cabins at Camp Berea (where we'll be the last two days of camp). It was a pleasant way to spend the last few hours of the week.
At the end of the day, I was drained. I think I used up all of my energy at the beginning of the day and I was ready to go home. But the core of me is ready for the four day mind-blowing experience that is City Year Winter Camp. I respect all of the energy and time that the camps team has spent preparing for this. I still love and cherish the opportunity to work in such a glorious organization like City Year. People can be frustrated, drained and cranky but I have no doubt that others are committed to this mission: to build a stronger community, nation and world for all of us. What a perfect week.
City Year New Hampshire had Monday off so we could celebrate our great presidents. Personally, I hung up all of my posters of James K. Polk and sang "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too," the campaign theme song for William Henry Harrison. After that day of fun, I was pretty much ready for a great day of service on Tuesday. I did have some work left to do for my senior corps application, but I knew I'd have time after work on Tuesday.
I was quite surprised when I discovered that we had a snow day on Tuesday. However, our Winter Camp was still less than a week away, so several members of the camps team went into work for a few hours. I decided to join them. I spent the morning drawing a large version of the City Year logo and making phone calls to students, asking if they are still interested in attending camp. I had a few rejections and a few positive responses, so there were some victories. I also had the chance to finish my senior corps application before heading back into the snow for the night.
When I woke up on Wednesday, I just did not want to go to school. I was hoping for another snow day because I didn't spend Tuesday's day off doing personal things. But, as PITW #124 says, "Everyone needs to do things that are not in the job description." I spent my day off helping out the camps team with important tasks but that didn't mean that I could slack off because I wanted to stay home. So, during math class, I went to the teachers' lounge to energize myself with some air guitar and self-motivation.
It certainly helped, though the rest of the day definitely had its difficulties. Bear and I went to Seacoast Youth Services to help out with their afterschool program. On Wednesdays, they run a cooking and nutrition program. It's a great program since it teaches students how to eat and cook healthy meals and it feeds them. Unfortunately, a group of sixth graders who have been cooped up inside classrooms all day are not the most attentive people. I spent most of the two hours after work frustrated, shushing students. This is not the way I want to function around students. I knew I needed to do a game check before Wednesday to ensure that I'm doing my best for the students I work with and the people in my community.
Wednesday was not without its victories. "Sophia" is simply knocking her social studies project out of the park. It isn't the greatest presentation ever, but she is spending a lot of time in class working on it and I'm hoping that she completes it on time. Even when I wasn't sitting next to her, Sophia was working on her assignment. I told her how impressed and proud I am of her; I want to see this behavior continue.
At the end of Thursday, I couldn't even comprehend the greatness that is in my life. Thursday was my birthday and, obviously, I was hoping for a really good day. I got one of the greatest days of service so far. Before our readiness check, my teammate Charlie reminded everyone it was my birthday. Chris decided the word for readiness check would be "Happy Birthday Paul." It was a heartwarming start to a day that could only get better if our major activity for the day – Winter Carnival – would happen as planned.
So though I was buoyed by the love of my teammates, I was still a bit trepidatious on the drive into Seabrook. The Winter Carnival was supposed to be our capstone to Spirit Week at Seabrook Middle School. Students, during their UA period (gym, art, music, etc.), would be able to do different activities, such as video games, kickball, basketball, arts and crafts and board games. We weren't sure if it would happen; we might be bumped for to accommodate another event. Within a few minutes of arriving at school, Chris, our team leader, confirmed that the Winter Carnival would proceed as scheduled. This sealed the deal -- I was ready to work.
I was in charge of the video games; students had a choice between Guitar Hero 2 and a karaoke game. Almost surprisingly, there was very little squabbling and students were respectful and orderly. There were some great moments throughout the day. Seeing a student do a kneeslide while playing the guitar solo from "Shout at the Devil". Watching a group of seventh grade girls sing "Wannabe" by The Spice Girls and "YMCA" with Amber and Emerald, a senior corps member who works on recruitment. Seeing a bunch of eighth grade girls hug Allie, another senior corps member who worked in Seabrook's seventh grade last year, before she left. Hearing a student say, "Today was a lot of fun" at the end of the day. Victories, victories all day.
As with most days, there was a low point. Our meeting of DI was productive but very tiring. But I couldn't stay tired for long. Throughout the day, Charlie would tell me Happy Birthday – I couldn't help smiling every time he said it. When we returned to Timberland, I was ambushed by Dylan. He hugged me, swung me around and sang me an improvised happy birthday song. The absolute best part of the day came when it was time to debrief. At the end of each day, we take some time to reflect on our day of service – the good, the not-so good, the things we can improve. Chris usually has an interesting question for us, but Thursday's was a surprise: "Tell us how much you love Paul Riley and how it relates to your day." I got to hear praise from every member of my team, Dylan and Nate (who stopped by momentarily) and Sandra's brother who was visiting for the day. For my debrief response, I told each person why they are important to me.
I also said that I am so happy and lucky to be surrounded by a group of people who care about me and like me. I love the people on my team – they are some of my best friends not only at CYNH but in the world. The events of Thursday -- especially that simple gesture of respect and support -- reaffirmed that this is where I want to be. This is a beautiful world because of people like the corps members and staff at City Year New Hampshire, and I want to spend the rest of my life making other people feel this good about life.
Obviously, I was pretty excited for service on Friday and seeing all of the site again. I knew that we would be spending most of the day preparing for our Winter Camp next week and I was ready for a fun day. Unfortunately, I was greeted by a thoroughly drained camps team. They had stayed at the office until 2:00 in the morning working on things for next week. I was actually a bit offended when someone responded to my energy with, "Looks like Paul wasn't at a camps meeting." My initial reaction was, "Get over yourself. You signed up for this job – you should've known what you were getting into." I kept that thought to myself, though, because I knew that a 19 hour work day isn't an easy thing on a person's mental frame. So instead of grumbling about the surly camps team, I decided to hoot and holler in the parking lot. I danced and shouted in excitement until some senior corps members began challenging me in an excitement dance off. I don't know if it made people's days easier but I was happy to inject some much-needed energy into the morning.
Our first activity of the day lasted a few hours; we reviewed Q2Qs for the four days of camp. I was frustrated again by the vagueness of some instructions. This time, my negative feelings were crushed by a simple change in focus. We spent an hour in an Idealist's Journey session. The IJ sessions are inspired by the work of the mythology scholar Joseph Campbell. They are bi-monthly opportunities to reflect on our service in the context of the hero's journey. During each meeting, two corps members introduce a question that relates in some way to our service. Today, my team discussed the questions, "What inspires you and how can you use that to strengthen your service?" and "What are you unwilling to compromise in your life?" I really needed a break from preparing for camps since we spent the entire afternoon on that.
Our Winter Camp is split into two regions for the first two days: the Seacoast and Merrimack Valley. Lauia, my co-team leader, and I are on the Seacoast with my best buddy Amber, the camps master in that region. All of the people assigned to the Seacoast spent the afternoon at Trinity Church (where we'll be next week) preparing the Look and Feel elements. We made posters and signs that will decorate the camp spaces and cabins at Camp Berea (where we'll be the last two days of camp). It was a pleasant way to spend the last few hours of the week.
At the end of the day, I was drained. I think I used up all of my energy at the beginning of the day and I was ready to go home. But the core of me is ready for the four day mind-blowing experience that is City Year Winter Camp. I respect all of the energy and time that the camps team has spent preparing for this. I still love and cherish the opportunity to work in such a glorious organization like City Year. People can be frustrated, drained and cranky but I have no doubt that others are committed to this mission: to build a stronger community, nation and world for all of us. What a perfect week.
Friday, February 12, 2010
A Week Full of Victories
What a great way to start off this week! If Monday is any indication, I think that February will be full of victories for me and my students. Of course there were small dips in the road, but overall things are on the upswing.
For example, math class is still not going smoothly; students are still struggling. However, I was able to coax a smile from "Shirley" while she was working on her bookwork. She had to categorize the triangles by lengths of sides and measures of angles and doubted herself. When she got the first one right, I praised her. After she had done three correctly, I called her the "Triangle Master," eliciting a smile from her. I was quite pleased since she often appears aloof and disinterested in schoolwork. I also think that this translated into victories in later classes. Shirley is close friends with one of my students, "Christine." Christine is shy around adults and often doesn't talk much with me. But in FACS class on Monday, Shirley and Christine got down to work with me on finishing a kitchen supplies word search. The biggest success occurred in science class. Students are continuing their work on heredity with partners. However, Christine's partner was absent Monday so she was working solo. I was standing by one student duo when Christine called out to me, "I need help." This development is huge. The two of us were working one on one for a few minutes and Christine was actually communicating with me. I hope that this leads to even greater performance.
Additionally, "Sophia" has been working independently much more in social studies. This is also a big development since I had spent a few months prodding her constantly to do a modicum of work. This approach was not working; instead of doing more with constant supervision, she would eventually shut down. I'm glad that she's become more independent. I attribute this to her involvement in the Young Heroes program. It may just be happenstance that she started her third year in the program concurrently with this new classroom behavior, but I think the two are connected.
I started Tuesday reminding myself that I shouldn't expect that "Christine" and I would continue from the point we left off the day before. Even though we had worked together well on Monday, I knew that Tuesday was a new day. Things weren't as good, but Christine is talking more with me. Of course, she is a tad flippant but I have to start somewhere. I'm expecting greater things to come.
Math class was great! I had some warmup problems prepared for the class related to triangles. When we reviewed them, the class was very responsive. If we have a few more days like this, I think the terms (acute, obtuse, scalene, isosceles) will sink in – actual learning will take place. Unfortunately, the students were not as enthusiastic in social studies. On Monday, they began working on a project about various countries in the Middle East; each student will present information as if she were reporting on the life of kids in those countries. I have been working with the students, helping them find information on their respective countries, but I've also had to change their opinions on the work. Almost every student I talked to called the project "stupid." My job is even harder when I have to motivate them to respect the assignments before I can get them on track. One step at a time, though, one step at a time.
Conversely, "Erica" is enjoying our work in English class. The students are reading the play version of The Diary of Anne Frank in class; Erica is one of the students that is only listening to her classmates reading the roles. However, Erica really likes the play so far; her positive comments were followed by my praise of Anne Frank as a self-confident character. I was glad to have the chance to talk about literature in a big way.
My biggest success of Tuesday occurred during lunch. We are making a final push for City Year Winter Camp recruitment. Contacting students during lunch is one way to figure out who is still interested and who has decided against going. "Charles," one of Amber's students, is interested in going to camps. He is often withdrawn and quiet, but I sat down with him in hopes that I could figure out how he's feeling. I asked him how he was then asked if he was interested in going to camp. He said, "I still want to go but I don't think I can afford it." Luckily, Amber was standing behind me with some calendar raffles, our major fundraising tool for camps. I told him that all he needed to do was sell ten $10 tickets and he'd be fine to go to camp. I think there is a great chance that he'll be attending camp; I'm glad that I took the time to talk with him.
Wednesday was a crazy day. It was originally supposed to be jammed full of things for me: a food stamps appointment, afterschool programs and an open house in Portsmouth. However, by Wednesday morning all three things had been cancelled. Still, it was quite productive and full of victories. I had more success with "Shirley" in math. I think she is most receptive one-on-one; she was smiling quite a bit during first period while I was working with her. I think she's warming to me and we're going to make some progress in the coming weeks. However, I was not as successful in FACS class. I attribute this to her proximity to two other students. They were supposed to be reading articles and summarizing them, but Shirley felt more inclined to chat with her friends. At least she's feeling more comfortable in math – I'll take my victories where I can.
At the end of the day, students have Learning Lab, a period that allows them to start their homework or make up old assignments or tests. I had talked with "Whitney" about meeting up to complete a rough draft for science. "Erica" wanted to accompany us, so at 2:00 I met up with them and began working. I am really proud of both of these students – they are driven and intellectually curious. I hope that they can serve as role models to their classmates.
My favorite part of the day was likely saying goodbye to students at the end of the day. As the students left the building for the buses, I said, "Have a great night! Do your homework! Study hard! Enjoy your night!" I got a lot of smiles from students but mostly, I was just happy to be happy in the hallway. It's something that I won't be able to do often since we have Homework Help immediately after the bell rings. However, I'm going to try to do it as much as possible.
Food played a major role in my day on Thursday. Before we headed down to Seabrook, I bought a muffin from the Timberland cafeteria. I know it seems like something trivial, but having a full stomach put me in an outstanding mood. That doesn't mean that I was on the ball for the entire day. In FACS class, I was asked to work with one of my students since her partners were absent and she needed help in the kitchen. Each group cooked a different type of pizza; "Sally" and I made a breakfast pizza. I put the pizza in the oven, already warm from the class before. When I looked twenty minutes later, the cheese had melted but the crust was soft. It was then that I realized I had forgotten to turn the other knob. I felt like a dunce at first, especially because it affected Sally's project. Luckily, it turned into a joke so I didn't feel like a fool for the rest of the day.
Homework Help went incredibly smoothly. We have been tweaking it every day, making it a more productive setting for students. "Audrey" and I worked together on science work. Science is the class that gives most eighth graders trouble so I help them as much as possible in that class. Audrey, completely self-motivated, finished an extra credit assignment in Homework Help. I think that I have helped some students become more interested in learning and doing their work.
The week ended on a very positive, albeit busy, note. A few weeks ago, the corps members had a workshop on resumes, cover letters and job interviews. Those of us in WSWC (the school-based teams) missed it, so we had our workshop this Friday. While it was very helpful and I learned some good tips, I continued to be overwhelmed by the deadline for senior corps member applications. There is always work to get done, and even though some of it is for months from now, it needs to get done today. But being able to balance my workload is an essential skill and I'm getting a lot of practice with it.
After work, I drove down to Boston to pick up my mother and brother from the train station. Boston is the site of our headquarters and I've been in the city a few times while wearing my uniform. It still excites me, knowing that I'm in the same city where this program began, walking the streets with the red jacket on. While waiting for my family's train to arrive, I called a friend to catch up. We talked about City Year and then she asked me about the calendar raffle. She apologized for not purchasing one sooner, but I was just glad that I was able to sell another one. It was a great ending to a great week.
For example, math class is still not going smoothly; students are still struggling. However, I was able to coax a smile from "Shirley" while she was working on her bookwork. She had to categorize the triangles by lengths of sides and measures of angles and doubted herself. When she got the first one right, I praised her. After she had done three correctly, I called her the "Triangle Master," eliciting a smile from her. I was quite pleased since she often appears aloof and disinterested in schoolwork. I also think that this translated into victories in later classes. Shirley is close friends with one of my students, "Christine." Christine is shy around adults and often doesn't talk much with me. But in FACS class on Monday, Shirley and Christine got down to work with me on finishing a kitchen supplies word search. The biggest success occurred in science class. Students are continuing their work on heredity with partners. However, Christine's partner was absent Monday so she was working solo. I was standing by one student duo when Christine called out to me, "I need help." This development is huge. The two of us were working one on one for a few minutes and Christine was actually communicating with me. I hope that this leads to even greater performance.
Additionally, "Sophia" has been working independently much more in social studies. This is also a big development since I had spent a few months prodding her constantly to do a modicum of work. This approach was not working; instead of doing more with constant supervision, she would eventually shut down. I'm glad that she's become more independent. I attribute this to her involvement in the Young Heroes program. It may just be happenstance that she started her third year in the program concurrently with this new classroom behavior, but I think the two are connected.
I started Tuesday reminding myself that I shouldn't expect that "Christine" and I would continue from the point we left off the day before. Even though we had worked together well on Monday, I knew that Tuesday was a new day. Things weren't as good, but Christine is talking more with me. Of course, she is a tad flippant but I have to start somewhere. I'm expecting greater things to come.
Math class was great! I had some warmup problems prepared for the class related to triangles. When we reviewed them, the class was very responsive. If we have a few more days like this, I think the terms (acute, obtuse, scalene, isosceles) will sink in – actual learning will take place. Unfortunately, the students were not as enthusiastic in social studies. On Monday, they began working on a project about various countries in the Middle East; each student will present information as if she were reporting on the life of kids in those countries. I have been working with the students, helping them find information on their respective countries, but I've also had to change their opinions on the work. Almost every student I talked to called the project "stupid." My job is even harder when I have to motivate them to respect the assignments before I can get them on track. One step at a time, though, one step at a time.
Conversely, "Erica" is enjoying our work in English class. The students are reading the play version of The Diary of Anne Frank in class; Erica is one of the students that is only listening to her classmates reading the roles. However, Erica really likes the play so far; her positive comments were followed by my praise of Anne Frank as a self-confident character. I was glad to have the chance to talk about literature in a big way.
My biggest success of Tuesday occurred during lunch. We are making a final push for City Year Winter Camp recruitment. Contacting students during lunch is one way to figure out who is still interested and who has decided against going. "Charles," one of Amber's students, is interested in going to camps. He is often withdrawn and quiet, but I sat down with him in hopes that I could figure out how he's feeling. I asked him how he was then asked if he was interested in going to camp. He said, "I still want to go but I don't think I can afford it." Luckily, Amber was standing behind me with some calendar raffles, our major fundraising tool for camps. I told him that all he needed to do was sell ten $10 tickets and he'd be fine to go to camp. I think there is a great chance that he'll be attending camp; I'm glad that I took the time to talk with him.
Wednesday was a crazy day. It was originally supposed to be jammed full of things for me: a food stamps appointment, afterschool programs and an open house in Portsmouth. However, by Wednesday morning all three things had been cancelled. Still, it was quite productive and full of victories. I had more success with "Shirley" in math. I think she is most receptive one-on-one; she was smiling quite a bit during first period while I was working with her. I think she's warming to me and we're going to make some progress in the coming weeks. However, I was not as successful in FACS class. I attribute this to her proximity to two other students. They were supposed to be reading articles and summarizing them, but Shirley felt more inclined to chat with her friends. At least she's feeling more comfortable in math – I'll take my victories where I can.
At the end of the day, students have Learning Lab, a period that allows them to start their homework or make up old assignments or tests. I had talked with "Whitney" about meeting up to complete a rough draft for science. "Erica" wanted to accompany us, so at 2:00 I met up with them and began working. I am really proud of both of these students – they are driven and intellectually curious. I hope that they can serve as role models to their classmates.
My favorite part of the day was likely saying goodbye to students at the end of the day. As the students left the building for the buses, I said, "Have a great night! Do your homework! Study hard! Enjoy your night!" I got a lot of smiles from students but mostly, I was just happy to be happy in the hallway. It's something that I won't be able to do often since we have Homework Help immediately after the bell rings. However, I'm going to try to do it as much as possible.
Food played a major role in my day on Thursday. Before we headed down to Seabrook, I bought a muffin from the Timberland cafeteria. I know it seems like something trivial, but having a full stomach put me in an outstanding mood. That doesn't mean that I was on the ball for the entire day. In FACS class, I was asked to work with one of my students since her partners were absent and she needed help in the kitchen. Each group cooked a different type of pizza; "Sally" and I made a breakfast pizza. I put the pizza in the oven, already warm from the class before. When I looked twenty minutes later, the cheese had melted but the crust was soft. It was then that I realized I had forgotten to turn the other knob. I felt like a dunce at first, especially because it affected Sally's project. Luckily, it turned into a joke so I didn't feel like a fool for the rest of the day.
Homework Help went incredibly smoothly. We have been tweaking it every day, making it a more productive setting for students. "Audrey" and I worked together on science work. Science is the class that gives most eighth graders trouble so I help them as much as possible in that class. Audrey, completely self-motivated, finished an extra credit assignment in Homework Help. I think that I have helped some students become more interested in learning and doing their work.
The week ended on a very positive, albeit busy, note. A few weeks ago, the corps members had a workshop on resumes, cover letters and job interviews. Those of us in WSWC (the school-based teams) missed it, so we had our workshop this Friday. While it was very helpful and I learned some good tips, I continued to be overwhelmed by the deadline for senior corps member applications. There is always work to get done, and even though some of it is for months from now, it needs to get done today. But being able to balance my workload is an essential skill and I'm getting a lot of practice with it.
After work, I drove down to Boston to pick up my mother and brother from the train station. Boston is the site of our headquarters and I've been in the city a few times while wearing my uniform. It still excites me, knowing that I'm in the same city where this program began, walking the streets with the red jacket on. While waiting for my family's train to arrive, I called a friend to catch up. We talked about City Year and then she asked me about the calendar raffle. She apologized for not purchasing one sooner, but I was just glad that I was able to sell another one. It was a great ending to a great week.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Time to Reflect and Refocus: ATR
I have a good feeling about February. After a very difficult January, I think that this is going to be a better four weeks. I know that it will still be difficult, full of stress and introspection, but I am expecting great things. On Wednesday, we went to our Advanced Training Retreat, a chance to strengthen our bonds as a site and as a team. At the end of this month, we'll be hosting our Winter Camp and while it will demand a lot from us, it will also be a lot of fun.
February started off with a funky day. The eighth grade students have switched from Spanish to Family and Consumer Sciences. The students have all had the teacher before, but my only connection to her was through my teammate Amber's brief mention of her time in FACS. This class will be quite different from Spanish but I'm looking forward to a new environment.
We left Seabrook early to attend a training session at Seacoast Youth Services. Unfortunately, the session had to be rescheduled so we spent the day bonding and working on things. It felt very much like our first few weeks as a team in September – exploring the Seabrook community, getting some ice cream and introducing new games to each other. The fact that we had a day like this during the same week as our retreat amplifies the cyclical nature of this job. I started off the year with trepidation and nervousness that quickly became excitement and infatuation with the City Year lifestyle. As I've mentioned before, January was a rough month – a dip in the journey – but now I'm feeling like I'm coming back around.
On Tuesdays, we usually do PT in the community. PT stands for Physical Training, a power tool that we use to get ourselves energized in the mornings. This Tuesday, we did some exercises at a gazebo in Hampton Falls. The best part of my day was hearing us do "Foot Fires," an exercise in which we run in place – the thunderous sound of our boots hitting the wood surprised us but gave a nice change of pace to a common exercise. After PT, I missed math class to go out with some team members for some team time. At the time I was fine with it but after hearing how much help my students needed, I regretted missing first period. However, I won't always be with my students so they need to develop skills of independence.
In science class, I made a breakthrough in how I work with my students. They have recently started learning about heredity and how to do Punnett squares. The teacher was reviewing how to complete them but a few students were stumped. Instead of standing back and hoping they would figure it out, I went down to talk with them and work with them at their desks. We weren't doing exactly what was going on at the front of the room, which is a real departure for me. Sometimes, though, students need an individualized approach in order to grasp the material. Seeing students connect the dots, wide-eyed in understanding, is very satisfying. Science seems to be the most difficult class for all eighth grade students, so I will be employing this strategy more often in the future.
Tuesday was our last day in school this week; we went on our Advanced Training Retreat Wednesday through Friday. The retreat was not what I thought it would be, but I wouldn't change a second of it. At the beginning of the year, we took a few days to go upstate to Camp Berea for our Basic Training Retreat. During those days we learned what teams we would be on and bonded as teams and as a site. The return to Berea brought back memories of those original days, but this time was quite different. I was much more comfortable around people – I know everyone (some better than others, of course) but I feel no need to impress anyone.
This is not to say that my three days were full of happiness and joy. In fact, the first two days were rough for me, much like the month of January was. I attribute this partially to my absence from the first half of Wednesday's Unity Rally. While everyone else started doing PT, I ran back to our vans to retrieve the five guitars that people brought so they wouldn't be forgotten. I think missing out on the Unity Rally changed my whole mindset for the worse. I didn't really feel connected for a lot of ATR; it was a really bad feeling.
Thankfully, there were some great moments in the first two days. We spent about two hours as a team working on action plans to improve our afterschool programs, relationships with teachers and students' attendance. I am really excited to get back to work on Monday to start implementing those plans. Later that night, we explored our different work styles as a team. I think that I appear to be a generally upbeat and energetic guy, but I have a problem handling my frustration and anger in a productive way that has shown itself with greater frequency recently. This is something that I plan on working on to improve. It will put me in a better place and bring me closer to the person I want to be.
There were also some opportunities to push myself. On Thursday, my roommate Moshe and I facilitated a workshop on various ways of giving and receiving feedback. We had been in the workshop back at NELA and were bringing it back for the rest of the corps. Overall, I am glad that we did it. It was well-received and we were given a great deal of kudos for it, but I must give Moshe most of the credit -- he asked me to lead it with him and he edited the facilitator's guide. I do think it could have been better, but Moshe and I will do our best to improve it for the next time it's used.
That evening, Charlie Rose (one of the head honchos down at CY Headquarters) led us through a site building exercise that drained a lot of people emotionally. It is called "Crossing the Line" and it's designed to make people confront their stereotypes and realize that they don't really know the full story of a human being just because of her or his actions. The exercise involved Charlie stating descriptions; if they fit and people felt comfortable, they crossed the line and looked back at the other side. Some of the descriptions dealt with family, others with sexuality and some were about self-image. After the exercise was over, we spent about an hour debriefing it. The biggest thing that I took away from it was that I should never assume that I really know enough to judge another person's value or worth.
We dealt with some pretty heavy stuff at ATR. The most difficult part for me was feeling like I don't belong. It's a feeling that I've had at various points in my life since sixth grade, and I don't think I'll ever lose that part of me. Luckily, right now it's all in my head – nobody is trying to ostracize me and make me feel unwelcome. But sometimes I just get in a weird place and I can't shake that feeling. For example, Thursday night we had a Talent Show. I performed "Across The Universe" by The Beatles and had the crowd assist me with the parts "Jai guru deva" and "Nothing's gonna change my world." I felt good about it but then quickly felt outdone by the performers after me. I am surrounded by so many people who have something wonderful about them, people that make others feel good. The hardest part was watching the group of corps members who live together on the same street (there's about fifteen or twenty people that were up there) playing "Wagon Wheel" together. I felt so small watching my best friend at CYNH up there – I just felt so unnecessary.
But Friday was a new day. Before lunch, we had the chance to open the letters to self that we wrote back at BTR. I was amazed at how fluid and passionate my writing was. I was on fire, ready to completely immerse myself in this world. And I know that I still want that, to be fully devoted to our mission. But I am at a different place mentally and emotionally five months later. I needed to learn something new, to gain a different mindset in order to progress to the next stage in my life, at ATR. And I did learn something. There are going to be many, many times when you feel like you don't belong or that you don't fit in. There's nothing wrong with that, because maybe, in those moments, you don't. But there are so many people who rely on you and need you and as long as you remember that, there's a reason to exist.
Arriving in the parking lot back at CYNH after a long drive, I saw two things – people getting their belongings and people giving each other loud, boisterous hugs. The one undeniable and ever-present truth about City Year is that it is full of human beings who honestly and truly care about the well-being of others. It's second nature for people here to take time to connect with others, to listen to their frustrations and fears, their joys and hopes. There exists a fundamental respect for the full humanity of others. There is no desire to make you feel good 100% of the time. Sometimes, you're going to be down in the dumps and, for a little while, that's okay. But there is always someone who will support you in a respectful way. I am so lucky to be a part of this world and I hope that I can radiate this love out to everyone I meet. My purpose has been renewed. I am in a very good place right now. I'm ready to change the world.
February started off with a funky day. The eighth grade students have switched from Spanish to Family and Consumer Sciences. The students have all had the teacher before, but my only connection to her was through my teammate Amber's brief mention of her time in FACS. This class will be quite different from Spanish but I'm looking forward to a new environment.
We left Seabrook early to attend a training session at Seacoast Youth Services. Unfortunately, the session had to be rescheduled so we spent the day bonding and working on things. It felt very much like our first few weeks as a team in September – exploring the Seabrook community, getting some ice cream and introducing new games to each other. The fact that we had a day like this during the same week as our retreat amplifies the cyclical nature of this job. I started off the year with trepidation and nervousness that quickly became excitement and infatuation with the City Year lifestyle. As I've mentioned before, January was a rough month – a dip in the journey – but now I'm feeling like I'm coming back around.
On Tuesdays, we usually do PT in the community. PT stands for Physical Training, a power tool that we use to get ourselves energized in the mornings. This Tuesday, we did some exercises at a gazebo in Hampton Falls. The best part of my day was hearing us do "Foot Fires," an exercise in which we run in place – the thunderous sound of our boots hitting the wood surprised us but gave a nice change of pace to a common exercise. After PT, I missed math class to go out with some team members for some team time. At the time I was fine with it but after hearing how much help my students needed, I regretted missing first period. However, I won't always be with my students so they need to develop skills of independence.
In science class, I made a breakthrough in how I work with my students. They have recently started learning about heredity and how to do Punnett squares. The teacher was reviewing how to complete them but a few students were stumped. Instead of standing back and hoping they would figure it out, I went down to talk with them and work with them at their desks. We weren't doing exactly what was going on at the front of the room, which is a real departure for me. Sometimes, though, students need an individualized approach in order to grasp the material. Seeing students connect the dots, wide-eyed in understanding, is very satisfying. Science seems to be the most difficult class for all eighth grade students, so I will be employing this strategy more often in the future.
Tuesday was our last day in school this week; we went on our Advanced Training Retreat Wednesday through Friday. The retreat was not what I thought it would be, but I wouldn't change a second of it. At the beginning of the year, we took a few days to go upstate to Camp Berea for our Basic Training Retreat. During those days we learned what teams we would be on and bonded as teams and as a site. The return to Berea brought back memories of those original days, but this time was quite different. I was much more comfortable around people – I know everyone (some better than others, of course) but I feel no need to impress anyone.
This is not to say that my three days were full of happiness and joy. In fact, the first two days were rough for me, much like the month of January was. I attribute this partially to my absence from the first half of Wednesday's Unity Rally. While everyone else started doing PT, I ran back to our vans to retrieve the five guitars that people brought so they wouldn't be forgotten. I think missing out on the Unity Rally changed my whole mindset for the worse. I didn't really feel connected for a lot of ATR; it was a really bad feeling.
Thankfully, there were some great moments in the first two days. We spent about two hours as a team working on action plans to improve our afterschool programs, relationships with teachers and students' attendance. I am really excited to get back to work on Monday to start implementing those plans. Later that night, we explored our different work styles as a team. I think that I appear to be a generally upbeat and energetic guy, but I have a problem handling my frustration and anger in a productive way that has shown itself with greater frequency recently. This is something that I plan on working on to improve. It will put me in a better place and bring me closer to the person I want to be.
There were also some opportunities to push myself. On Thursday, my roommate Moshe and I facilitated a workshop on various ways of giving and receiving feedback. We had been in the workshop back at NELA and were bringing it back for the rest of the corps. Overall, I am glad that we did it. It was well-received and we were given a great deal of kudos for it, but I must give Moshe most of the credit -- he asked me to lead it with him and he edited the facilitator's guide. I do think it could have been better, but Moshe and I will do our best to improve it for the next time it's used.
That evening, Charlie Rose (one of the head honchos down at CY Headquarters) led us through a site building exercise that drained a lot of people emotionally. It is called "Crossing the Line" and it's designed to make people confront their stereotypes and realize that they don't really know the full story of a human being just because of her or his actions. The exercise involved Charlie stating descriptions; if they fit and people felt comfortable, they crossed the line and looked back at the other side. Some of the descriptions dealt with family, others with sexuality and some were about self-image. After the exercise was over, we spent about an hour debriefing it. The biggest thing that I took away from it was that I should never assume that I really know enough to judge another person's value or worth.
We dealt with some pretty heavy stuff at ATR. The most difficult part for me was feeling like I don't belong. It's a feeling that I've had at various points in my life since sixth grade, and I don't think I'll ever lose that part of me. Luckily, right now it's all in my head – nobody is trying to ostracize me and make me feel unwelcome. But sometimes I just get in a weird place and I can't shake that feeling. For example, Thursday night we had a Talent Show. I performed "Across The Universe" by The Beatles and had the crowd assist me with the parts "Jai guru deva" and "Nothing's gonna change my world." I felt good about it but then quickly felt outdone by the performers after me. I am surrounded by so many people who have something wonderful about them, people that make others feel good. The hardest part was watching the group of corps members who live together on the same street (there's about fifteen or twenty people that were up there) playing "Wagon Wheel" together. I felt so small watching my best friend at CYNH up there – I just felt so unnecessary.
But Friday was a new day. Before lunch, we had the chance to open the letters to self that we wrote back at BTR. I was amazed at how fluid and passionate my writing was. I was on fire, ready to completely immerse myself in this world. And I know that I still want that, to be fully devoted to our mission. But I am at a different place mentally and emotionally five months later. I needed to learn something new, to gain a different mindset in order to progress to the next stage in my life, at ATR. And I did learn something. There are going to be many, many times when you feel like you don't belong or that you don't fit in. There's nothing wrong with that, because maybe, in those moments, you don't. But there are so many people who rely on you and need you and as long as you remember that, there's a reason to exist.
Arriving in the parking lot back at CYNH after a long drive, I saw two things – people getting their belongings and people giving each other loud, boisterous hugs. The one undeniable and ever-present truth about City Year is that it is full of human beings who honestly and truly care about the well-being of others. It's second nature for people here to take time to connect with others, to listen to their frustrations and fears, their joys and hopes. There exists a fundamental respect for the full humanity of others. There is no desire to make you feel good 100% of the time. Sometimes, you're going to be down in the dumps and, for a little while, that's okay. But there is always someone who will support you in a respectful way. I am so lucky to be a part of this world and I hope that I can radiate this love out to everyone I meet. My purpose has been renewed. I am in a very good place right now. I'm ready to change the world.
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